Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #36? Start with the newly updated rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 ~ Top 3 ~

Strangers in a bar

Dealing with Abuse in Our Communities

Special Request

 ~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

What Keeps Us Going

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Sex Toy Journalism: Seeking the Truths of Silicone via Flame Testing and Confronting Manufacturers – Why flame test? “Pure” silicone, be it food grade or medical grade, shouldn’t melt or deform under the heat of an open flame from a disposable lighter or match – a fact you’ll see demonstrated in the video

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Comparisons Part Three
Cosmic Vibrations
Momentum: Reflections and Impressions
My Feminine Fountain is Finally Flowing (I squirted for the 1st time!)
PolyAnna’s Musings: Attraction
Q&A Number 1: Play Partners
Sexual Bucket List (and a Brief Diatribe on My Self Censorship Hang Up)
The “Dry Rut/Root”! Non-sex?
Intolerance – Contraception Debate, Religious Intolerance, & Grumpy Cooper

Erotic Writing

Come Together
Encounter in the Spa
Flame
Good Bad Sex
I needed him there and then
inside
Make Me Cum
Namaste
Onomatopoeia
Play Lady Play
Quitting While Ahead
Rampage – YSL’s birthday treats
sleep
the Confidante and I film ourselves
third
The first time I slept with the Girl in the Red Dress
Timing Is Everything
We drink each other’s cum

Kink & Fetish

Assignment from M
Buttons
Cigars
Fucked Raw
Foot fetishists, come talk to me
Imprints
Make Me
Nice vs. Good
On “Closure.”
Practicing My Religion
Please Fuck Me
Snap

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Annie fucking Sprinkle
Voice and the Author

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This post, ELust #35, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on April 19, 2012. Tweet This
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There are many things I want to write about.
Jaclyn Friedman’s talk about the importance of authentic sexual liberation in combatting the harm of sexualization.
Charlie Glickman’s “queer is a verb”, which you can read here.
The connections between sex education and health promotion.
Other gems hiding in my notes.

I did however want to say something about Audacia Ray’s State of the Sexual Union which she presented at the Friday evening opening panel. I would imagine that Audacia felt some trepidation questioning the role of sex positive feminism at a conference that bills itself as being about “sexuality, feminism, and relationships”. I know that her words received notice. My partner Scott, who came to the sessions on Saturday, asked me about the questions being raised about the meaning of sex positive. I hope that Audacia’s contribution was met with inquiry and conversation, not malice and backlash. The other part of Momentum’s subtitle is “making waves”.
We’ll never have much movement if we don’t make waves within our own community. New voices need to speak; old voices need to say new things.

I have been a feminist for many years, but I learned early on in my feminist career, as an undergrad student in Women’s Studies, that the feminist voice, both academic and social justice, excluded part of me. Now, twelve years later at Momentum, mine is finally not the only voice talking about bodily difference related to disability. From a question raised by an audience member in the Opening Keynote panel, to comments throughout the sessions, to positive feedback to “ready, sexy, able” the session I co-presented on sexuality and disability, to another question at the closing keynote, sexuality and ability had a voice at Momentum. That is the first feminist space I’ve been in where I haven’t been the one raising all the questions. It’s also the first space I’ve been in where, as someone with a visible disability, I felt fully and completely equal to other conference participants.

While all of this requires much more exploration and discovery, I thought I’d share some of the Momentum highlights, in no particular order of significance or occurrence.

• Francisco Ramirez, in explaining the hows and whys of giving free sex and relationship advice in New York City parks, says “Serving doesn’t have to have a dollar signs on it.”
  Having started out with a host of educational materials, Francisco now utilizes compassionate listening and the occasional diagram scratched into the dirt.
• When discussing the benefits of brick-and mortar sex toy shops over online shopping, namely the ability to look at and handle toys, Carol Queen offered this gem: “What is your sexuality asking you to give it as a present?”
• Greg founder of NJoy Toys thinks, looking at his sale figures, that he can “take credit for a couple of million orgasms.”
• Leela Sinha encouragesus to find joy and easefulness by connecting with our bodies. The body is a “compass” that directs us towards what we need; as we grow from childhood to adulthood we are taught to disengage from our bodies, to ignore what they’re telling us in favour of what we’re “supposed” to do. The easeful option isn’t always the easy option; easy is often a quick fix, while easeful can bring us towards comfort and joy. I sum up Leela’s session in this way: WE can tell ourselves whatever we want, but our bodies don’t lie. Check out more of Leela’s work at Body Of Pleasure.
• Charlie Glickmanhighlights the difficulty of not holding any assumptions and advocates a shift to the willingness to let go of assumptions we do hold when we learn that they are wrong, or even harmful. He acknowledges that this is tricky. That it’s a process. WE may not be able to let go of all assumptions at once—may need to accept that there are some that just need to be left alone for now, but know that in looking at the assumption we have altered our relationship with them.
• Browsing (and shopping at) the BlueStockings table full of books with Ducky DooLittle. Oh, and enjoying her sassy, saucy party games as Saturday evening’s entertainment.
• Hugging on the fly between sessions, and watching her fill the room with her marvelous personality during her own session “Senior Sex Out Loud”. Joan explains that she started writing books about sexuality for seniors because what few books were available were boring, not interesting, not sexy, and not funny. Touting the benefits of senior sexuality (while recognizing the differences) Joan says: “”What could be better than sex between people who know themselves, know each other, and delight in each other?””
• Watching the incredibly powerful Dr. Joycelyn Elders, former Surgeon General of the United states and vocal sexual health advocate proclaim: “We are not a sexually healthy nation.” And that the “best contraceptive in the world is a good education.”
• And to follow up on that, Ester Pereldiscussed the power of eroticism, how it isn’t something that can be measured the way we measure sex, and, again about the U.S., how”this is not a nation that flirts very much; it likes to score.”
• and of course there’s wrote about last year. She really did make me cry this year. I laughed too, but was so deeply moved that there were tears.

I could go on and on, but this has gotten long enough. I’m looking to the future, seeing how I can move with the Momentum.
In planning the sex and disability session (which I will write about another time), my co-presenter Dr. Ruthie and I wanted the talk to carry into the future, so we developed this resource list that people can add to. I would be remiss in not sharing it here.
Reay Sexy Able: a sex and disability resource list.

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This post, Momentum: Reflections and Impressions, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on April 7, 2012. Tweet This
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Our aim with this workshop is to inform, of course, but it is also to jumpstart the dialogue on sexuality and disability. With knowledge comes power. With discussion comes truth, and freedom from shame. Our North American mainstream media teaches us that sex is a luxury, a reward for being young enough, fit enough, “attractive” enough, wealthy enough. Our lived reality is one of many different bodies and many different life experiences.

WE’ve gathered together this list of definitions and resources.

This list is not complete.

Follow the instructions in the document and add your own knowledge.

Or email me at
robin@robinstoynest.com

Having trouble viewing the document? It’s a little persnickety for screen readers.

Clik here for a straight HTML version and email me at the address above if you have any suggestions.

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This post, “Ready, Sexy, Able” presentation coming up tomorrow, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on March 30, 2012. Tweet This
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This is the first Best Sex Writing edition I’ve read–2010 is sitting in a box somewhere–and I wasn’t quite prepared for the range of styles, let alone topics. In this book you’ll find everything from powerful indictments of the media’s treatment of sexuality and sexual violence to an exploration of the real depth and breadth of male sexuality, written as a guide to the care and feeding of the author’s own penis. I was particularly pleased by the inclusion of a piece on queerness in Latino/a culture, and a touching piece written by senior sex expert Joan Price on how she healed from the loss of her great love and grew to re-accept her sexuality.

But I’m not the expert on this book. Take a listen to the creator and editor of this series.

Whether you’re fascinated by sexuality, or interested in social critiques, or are a just plain nerd interested in sex (and I use the word nerd with great love) You should definitely check out this book.

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This post, Best Sex Writing 2012 Review, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on March 19, 2012. Tweet This
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When: Thursday February 2 at 8 PM EST

What: A 30-minute tele-class all about the G-spot–and related yummy topics.

Where: No need to go out in the cold and snow for this one. Call in from wherever you are and listen. I suggest curling up on the couch with herbal tea or hot chocolate, but that part is optional.

You can access the class by calling:

1-712-432-3066
conference code: 265077

So, if you want to learn what this G-spot stuff is all about, how to find it, and what to do when you get there, please join me.

Any questions? Anything you’d specifically like to hear me address in this class? Suggestions for future classes?

Comment to this post or email me at
robin@robinstoynest.com

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This post, Spotting The G: Free Tele-Class (Thursday February 2), originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on January 23, 2012. Tweet This
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Welcome to e[lust], the sex blog round-up- The best posts from the hottest and smartest sex bloggers all in one place! This edition highlights topics such as libido, fake orgasms, teenage lust, voyeurism, BDSM consent and so much more. Want to be included in e[lust] #33? Start with the rules, come back in February to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ The Top Three Posts ~

Assent Matters by SherynB – Find your emotional power to recognize and say “no” to what you don’t want BEFORE you get naked and tied up and give up your actual physical power to walk away to anybody.

Forever The Night – ‘Why the hell shouldn’t I listen? This is my home, my bedroom after all’. So I do listen and I do feel myself twitch at every minute sound on the other side of that fucking wall.

Hands. Fingers. Pleasure. – This was the first time a boy’s fingers had such unfettered access to my pussy. Prior gropings under and through clothes had never been like this.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

The Fake Orgasm: You think you know, but you have no idea – I am 34 and I have faked orgasms. There ya have it. But I have never and will never qualify doing so as “I did it for him”.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Sadie Says… Awake – In the haze of my missing libido I also lost myself. I began to wonder if I remembered who the hell I was?

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

Connection, Intimacy & Trust
DQ Earns a Pass from Chasity
Five Little Words
Naked and kinky in a busy sex shop
Sharp Tongues and Good Pain
Sexual violence
The Duke Story
‘Twas the Night Before Kinky
The Pink Elephant
Who I Am
Who Are You to Change Us?
Waking You

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Busy Writing
Help! My Vibrator Won’t Work
Men and Visual Stimulation
Slippery and sticky and covered in lube
The Safe Zone – Giving Yourself Permission To Screw Up in Non-Monogamy
Until Death Do Us Part

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Interview With Senior Sexuality Advocate Joan Price

Erotic Writing

21
A Read to Remember
Aurelia (A Dirty Kind Of Grace part 1)
A Fistful
banana bread
Christmas Day
Last night in Cap D’Adge
Later On In The Evening
Meat Hooks & Butcher’s Twine
Reside
Sugarbutch Star: blckndblue, The Pink Dress
she and he and me…
Surprise Orgasm
wind

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This post, ELust #32, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on January 21, 2012. Tweet This
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How did Joan start writing and speaking about senior sex? For fifteen years, Joan was a widely published health and fitness writer. Then at 57, after decades of single life, she fell deeply in love with artist Robert Rice, who was then 64. Their love affair was profound, joyful, and extremely spicy. Their passion, in contrast to society’s view of older people as sexless, led Joan at age 61 to write Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006) to celebrate the delights of older-life sexuality.
read more about Joan

You can also watch Joan talk about senior sex here!

I had the opportunity a few months ago to sit in on a phone interview with Joan,and found her one of the most personable, articulate, and delightful people I’ve ever listened to. Her comppassionate but no-nonsense approach to sexuality is refreshing. Joan was kind enough to answer a few questions I had so I can share a little of her wisdom with you. Thank you Joan!

R.M. You’ve done a lot of things in your life, most of them relating to education in one way or another. I’m particularly interested in how your experience as a fitness professional and a sexuality educator interconnect. Do you think they do?

J.P. Yes, on many levels. if we feel like we’re “in” our bodies, feeling the joy of movement and the way our muscles work, we enjoy both sex and exercise more. Physiologically, exercise increases blood flow not only to the muscles and the brain, but also to the genitals, enhancing arousal and sensation. Emotionally, the better we feel about our bodies, the more sensual and sexual we are able to be. And at our age, knowing we’re treating our bodies well will let us enjoy them more, overlooking wrinkles — I hope!
Also physical exercise is great foreplay! Robert and I always made time for walking or dancing as part of our foreplay. By the time we embraced in bed, we were already in sync with each other’s bodies and our own.

R.M. What are the three most important things you’d like seniors to know about their sexuality?
J.P. 1. Our youth-oriented society’s view of seniors who enjoy sex as icky, weird, pathetic, or ludicrous is wrong, wrong, wrong! Our sexuality can be pleasurable and joyful throughout our lives.
2. If something emotional or physical is interfering with your enjoyment of your sexuality, there are solutions available! That’s why I wrote Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, because so many of us just accept our changes as inevitable, unchangeable, and too embarrassing to seek help for – and don’t know that solutions exist that can totally change our experience.
3. We as seniors need to talk out loud about our sexuality. That’s the way we can change both society’s view and enrich our own enjoyment by seeking information, learning what’s possible, and sharing that knowledge.

R.M. I notice that you use the terms “senior sex” and “ageless sexuality”. What would you particularly like younger people to know about sex and aging.

J.P. I know it’s part of youth to believe you’ll never be old, never be wrinkly or arthritic or have saggy skin, never fall out of love or lose a partner to cancer – but this all happens! The best “sex insurance” that a young person can have for a sexually gratifying older life is to learn about the changes, listen to elders about their experiences, and embrace older people who are willing to share with you. It’s a sign of deep maturity to welcome a dialogue with elders, and emotionally enriching, too.

R.M. …and if you could say a few words about what is coming up next for you, what your current projects are, that would be terrific!

J.P. Woo hoo! I’m very excited about my new project, editing an anthology of senior erotica! This will be a collection of stories and memoir essays by writers over fifty, featuring steamy characters over fifty. Think about it – why is erotica almost always about young, hot bodies? Is there an upper age limit to being sexy, wanting sex, caring about sex? I say no. Please see my Call for Submissions.

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This post, Interview with Senior Sexuality Advocate Joan Price, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on December 27, 2011. Tweet This
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Here is my interpretation of what she had to say. All errors are my own.

We hear much of the primacy of the penis. It’s big, it gets hard, it squirts stuff. The clit doesn’t make herself known in such dramatic ways, so she is often ignored. She doesn’t like this. She gets even by being impressive and demanding, mysterious and ineffably subtle. The clit sat down with me the other day and asked me to tell the story of how and why she is so great. Being a sex educator, and, more importantly, a woman, I was happy to oblige.

The clit is very proud of herself. She is the only organ in the human body—in any human body—that was designed specifically for pleasure. Now that’s intelligent design if she ever saw it!

She gets mad when she hears people say that she is only the size of a pea. Sure, the Princess could feel the pea through her fluffy bedding in that fairy tale, but… A pea, really? Hrmph! (It is at this point in the story that the clit retracted into her hood. It took all of my interviewing skills to get her to come back out and finish her tale.)

Sometimes she is much larger than a pea, and even then, that’s only the part you can see. The clit would like everyone to know that she is so complex, so much so that people—smart people, in her opinion—call her the clitoral complex. What people call the clit, is actually the head of the clitoris, or clitoral complex. The shaft, what the narcissistic clit prefers to call her body, extends about an inch back into the human body, and has “legs” that extend back, on each side under the labia, towards the butt. If one were to trace the labia with one’s fingers, which even our greedy clit would deem appropriate behavior (but not for too long), one would be tracing the path of these clitoral legs. The clitoral complex is essentially wishbone -shaped. The clit recommends rubbing her head; she may grant you a wish. More like a genie than a wishbone.

The clit is very demanding. She thrums and throbs and tingles, and if you look very carefully, you can see how she grows. Wetness usually emerges from the labial folds in which she nests, for her comfort and your convenience. She appreciates wetness, but frowns on some bottled lubricants particularly those with irritating chemicals and fragrances. She wants to remind people that she is the essence of fragility and strength, and must be treated with the utmost of respect and tenderness. She hates the redness that comes with irritation, and is so pleasure-focused that even the slightest hint towards discomfort makes her angry and resentful. This means no burning chemicals. She rebels against this treatment by developing a rash or irritation and feeling too sensitive or not sensitive enough. Her sister, or her neighbor—I’m not quite clear on that—the vagina, sometimes develops yeast infections from the glycerin in some lubricants, which makes the clit sulk indeed for she rarely gets attention while the vagina recovers. Sometimes they have arguments! (Here, the clit began to sulk again. I had to gently assure her that I only keep the best of lubricants in my house and that she could continue to trust me with her story. She must have felt conciliatory, for she continues with…))

The clitoris is not purely self-centered, though. When treated well, she gives generously of her softness and warmth. She recognizes that she is only part of a network—well, actually, she says, she’s the leader of the network—of nerves that bring pleasure to the body. She says actually that if you want to know what is going on with her, you should watch the face she is attached to. She suggests looking for flushed skin, closed or rolling eyes, and increased heat.

The clit is persistent. and when she peeks her little head out from its hood, she won’t take no for an answer.

(I begged the clit to tell me more, she insisted that she needed to rest up. She had a big date lined up, and was quite confident that she would be getting some attention before the appointed time. Grudgingly, she granted me time more one more tidbit, one that she assured me would assert her supremacy. She is most proud to know that her truth has been recorded in a book, a book most appropriately—she stressed the appropriateness:
The Clitoral Truth.

Author’s note: No clitoris was harmed in the writing of this piece. If there is any resemblance between the clit in this story and any other clitoris, it is purely by coincidence.

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This post, The Narcissism Of The Clit: A Tale of Admiration, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on December 22, 2011. Tweet This
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Did you miss Pleasurists 155? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 157? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday November 20th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Toys for Sex Giveaway Deadline: November 18th.
• RodeoH Giveaway = Love time! deadline: November 20th @ 11:59am Eastern.
• Happy Spanksgiving Kinky Contest – Win a Neon Wand! Deadline: November 24th.
• 600 Follower Giveaway Deadline: November 25th.
• In Celebration of My Husband’s Birthday, I’m Giving Away a Fun Factory Cobra Libre and Tenga Eggs! Deadline: November 30th.
• Win an Extase Couture Vibrator Deadline: November 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
• Giveaway Bonanza Deadline: December 5th.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews:

Vibrators

• bSwish bGood by padme amidala
• Forbidden Fruit by Mistress Kay
• Nirvana by Karen Blue
• LELO Tiani by Mistress Kay
• Tantus Flex by the bedroom blogger
• FixSations by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• Buzzlet by Red
• Pipedream Mini Wanachi by Penny
• My BFF by Undressed Reviews
• White Heat Double Delights by PandaDementia
• We-Vibe Touch by Epiphora
• Remote Control Little Black Panty by Shay
• Knicker Critter by Midnight Boudoir
• PicoBong Kiki by Lucid Obsession
• Passion Wave by Lucid Obsession
• L’Intimate by Kitty Stryker

Dildos

• Elden the Faerie Dragon by Bzzingbee
• Bruiser the Fusion by True Pleasures
• The Temp by Midnight Boudoir
• Metal Worx Slim Fave by Beanfiddler

Anal Toys

• Nexus Vibro by Mistress Kay

Sleeves, Rings, & etc.

• Tri-O by ScarlettSeraph
• Rev1000 by Ruffled Sheets
• Pegasus Equine Sheath by True Pleasures
• Fleshlight Freaks Alien by Evil Poptart

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• ON Arousal Oil by Karen Blue
• Babeland Body Massage Candles by Bzzingbee
• Babeland Body Massage Candle by ScarlettSeraph
• Frixion by Lucid Obsession

BDSM/Fetish

• Kinklab Neon Wand by BashfulBabe
• Pink Candy Jaguar Cuffs by Mistress Kay
• Babeland Bondage Tape by Kisses and Kinks

Adult Books/Games

• So You Wanna Be a Sexy Bitch? by Mistress Kay
• Women In Lust by Robin of Robin’s Toy Nest
• Women in Lust by Kitty Stryker

Adult DVDs & Porn

• Rough Sex 3 by Epiphora
• Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex by Bzzingbee
• Worked Out and Worked Over by Ginger Leigh
• KissMe Girl Volume 8 – Girls Kissing Girls by J.D. Bauchery
• See Thru by Ginger Leigh
• Straight Guys For Gay Eyes And For Women Too – Baxter James by J.D. Bauchery
• No Panties Allowed 3 by Ginger Leigh

Miscellaneous

• Vibrating Corsette Harness by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Smartballs Teneo Duo by Red
• Beginner’s Penetrix by Kisses and Kinks

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This post, Pleasurists #156, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on November 18, 2011. Tweet This
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~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

A Feminist Defense of Consensual Nonconsent – How does a woman who identifies as a feminist reconcile her desire to submit to her partner during sex? Being somewhat new to kink, I had some trepidations about how submission seemingly went against my ethics.

Intimates – As the evening drew on, I felt like the sexiest woman alive. It’s strange to describe it this way, but I actually felt brimming with a sort of sexual energy. A lustiness, a sexiness, an allure and a desire all at once.

Tightest Space – I’m paying close attention to your moans, and I stop whenever it feels like it might be too much. But the incredibly tight feeling of your ass gripping my cock is so delicious that I need to get all the way in.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

An Open Letter to the Sex Toy Industry – I write this post not to just let off some steam but with the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe…….just maybe….some of these words will land on the right computer screen and be taken to heart. Maybe one change will happen.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

International #Fisting Day!! – Beyond awareness and calling for action, I think International Fisting Day is a great day to celebrate fisting; an intimate, hugely erotic and often orgasmic act that doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Bit about Crushes
Are You on the Pill?
How to Approach Your Partner with a Fantasy
Meeting New People
Sex And Disability: What Does the Literature Say?
Settling – Striving For Connections in Non-Monogamy
Sex and Heart Attacks
Training my rear end

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Getting Past The Word ‘Slut’
Private Pictures
The Fetish Fashion of l’Enfant Terrible

Kink & Fetish

Enough is Enough
Hands
In his hands the vibe was intensity personified
Live Well
Public Exposure: The Third Birthday Fantasy
Rope
Scammers come in different flavours
When Submission is a Dry Biscuit

Erotic Writing

A contrast in swinging
A Frightened Heart
6-Some Fun
Bent
Come Again
Emily
Her First Time
In the Bathroom
Move
treat

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This post, E-Lust #31, originally appeared on Robin's Toy Nest on November 13, 2011. Tweet This
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