Oct 232014
 

Last month, the American Academy of pediatrics updated its guidelines on providing sexual healthcare for adolescents, though the part of those guidelines validating that teens with disabilities have sexualities too didn’t get a lot of press.

yes, teens with disabilities do have sexual feelings, are interested in sex, and (mock gasp!) engage in sexual activity with themselves and other people.

It was strictly against the rules, of course, but I happen to know that the school for the blind I went to was teeming with horny teens acting on their horniness!

I wasn’t one of them, but I did hungrily, and a little guiltily, devour the three sex and sexuality books the school library had in Braille.

So, this week I’m sharing a piece from the depths of the Internet, written by a disabled teen, about her sexuality.

Cara Liebowitz is a powerful activist for disability rights.

She gave this interview on disability and sexuality four years ago when she was in her late teens.

Enjoy.

Oct 092014
 

Saturday is National Coming Out Day 2014, and I’m thinking about people with disabilities who are queer, gender nonconforming, or both.

Queer and trans* people around the United States will celebrate this weekend. Some will come out for the first time.

Maybe some people with disabilities will come out.

Maybe some will feel they have to stay silent, even as people around them celebrate.

People with disabilities are thought of as nonsexual. People with intellectual disabilities, especially, are thought of as not being able to understand sex, sexuality, or relationships. ((As if any of us get to say what anybody’s sexuality, or how they feel about another person, should look like!)

“They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“Oh, isn’t that sweet.”

“They’re just repeating what they hear other people saying.”

These are the kinds of things said about people with intellectual disabilities, and the responses to talk of sexualities aren’t likely to be mmuch different. Someone with an intellectual disability saying that they want a girlfriend, for example, is likely to hear one of the responses above, or to be reminded that they have lotsof friends who are girls. If the person saying they want a girlfriend is also a girl (or woman if she’s an adult), they might be told that only boys get to have girlfriends.

So, for this year’s National Coming Out Day, I want to do my part to make sure people kno that folks with disabilities have gender identities and sexualities too. To that end, I’m sharing this deeply moving (to me, anyway) post from Dave Hingsburger. Yes, yes…I kno I shared a post of his for last week’s TBT. I’ll admit to being a bit of a fangirl. This post just spoke to me as one that needed to be shared this week. I promise to share something written by someone else next week.

Here, Dave is talking about giving support to a person with an intellectual disability who is sharing that he’s gay and in love.

I don’t do this often because I don’t have to – pretty much everyone knows. So it felt odd, pushing the closet door open and letting it bang shut after me again. This time, though, I came out strategically. I was just in conversation with a man with Down Syndrome who was talking with me, struggling with the fact that he was attracted to, and had kissed, another man. He thought he was in love. He was aching with pain, it was all wrong, he was dirty and sinful.

I couldn’t bear watching him. I couldn’t bear remembering the pain of feeling shamed for feeling loved.

I couldn’t bear watching him hurt.

So, I said, “You know I’m gay, right?”

Read the whole post here.