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Jun 292011

“Why eat a M&M when you can have a big yummy sundae?”

I heard this comment from a friend, as she was sterilizing her small, silicone “starter” dildo in preparation for giving it away.

“You might still want it. You just never know,” I argued.

“Oh, no, I’ve got my hands full now,” she laughed.

She went on to remind me of all her new toys, dildos of various sizes, straight and curved. Perhaps she does have her hands full.

But it got me thinking. Why is bigger considered better than smaller? When it comes to toys, aren’t both valid for diferent pleasure experiences?

IN other words, the ages-old question: does size really matter?

No, it really doesn’t, because we’re all different. Yes, yes, I know. That’s not much of an answer, is it? No, but you’ll hear it from me a lot. Our unique differences are what make people, and sexuality, amazing.

So instead of arguing about whether big is better than small, or short is better than long, or ridged is better than smooth, I’m just going to give you some suggestions for how to figure out what is right for you.

Today I’m talking specifically about the size of a penetrative toy.

When buying a toy for anal or vaginal penetration, consider this: people often estimate on the larger side. I don’t know whether it’s that “bigger is always better” factor coming into play, or whether it’s an estimation problem, but people often buy a bigger dildo than they need or want. In general, at least until you’ve gotten the hang of toy shopping, go a little smaller than you think you’ll need.

Whether you’re shopping at a store or online, it’s a great idea to understand the measurements. Dildo thickness measurements are given by the diameter of the toy. That’s the measurement across, not around, the toy. Trust me, 1.5 inche diameter is big. To put that into perspective, an American professional golf ball is 1.68 inches; professional golf balls in Britain have a diameter of 1.63 inches. So, if you buy a dildo that’s 1.5 inches or larger, you’ll be looking at something almost as large as a golf ball. If that’s what you want, wonderful, but I just thought you should know.

If you’re lucky enough to be able to shop at an awesome, friendly toy store, you’ll be able to touch the toys and get a sense for how small, or big, they really are. If you already insert fingers (or other toys) into yourself or your partner, you can compare the toys to your fingers. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re looking for something the same size as what you already use. Keep in mind that a toy will feel different than fingers.

There’s another way you can figure out exactly what size you want. Buy a bag of carrots, scrub them carefully, slip a condom on for added protection from dirt and sharp edges, and figure out which one feels the best when inserted. If you insert anally, Please be very, very careful that it does not slip in the whole way. If it does, the likelihood you can get it out without medical help is pretty low. This is supposed to be fun, not a hassle!!

If you want to be more scientific about it, get a cucumber or summer squash, try it out, and keep paring it down with a vegetable peeler until you get the size you want. Then cut it in half lengthwise, measure across, and you have your diameter. Then you’re ready to shop!

I’ve given you a lot of ideas. Now it’s your turn.

Does size matter?

How do you make sure you’re buying the right-sized toy?

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